Monday, September 15, 2014

Cluck Cluck



Daddy is combing his hair after a shower...

Let me have it!

Just a second, Scott, I'm almost done.

You... WHIP!

That's not a very nice thing to call someone.

You CHICKEN FAT!

That's... not a nice thing to say either.

Yes, it is.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

When I Grow Up...

Mommy, entering month #3 of nausea, needs hydration.

Hey, Scott, do you want to help me get Mommy something to drink?

Yes! I can do that.

Great. You're a big helper, Scott.

Yes, I like to help, because when I grow up, I want to be a man, just like you.

*
Nothing funny about this post. Just something to make a Daddy's eyes a little moist. Is it dusty in here?

Friday, June 20, 2014

Baby Jail



Mommy is checking us into the hotel. Baby brother begins crying uncontrollably.

Tell Nathan it'll be okay.

It's okay, Nathan! We're not leaving you in jail, it's just a hotel.

Does Nathan think this is a jail?

Yeah, it looks like jail.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Police Officer Daddy

Daddy, Tommy Ben jumped off the rail and fell down the stairs!


Tommy Ben, suave bear

Oh, no!

Yes, he got a big cut on his head.

Really?

Okay, you're the police.

Oh. Okay. Well, I guess I'll have to take your statement.

Yes.

When did this incident occur?

Before now.

Okay... Could you please describe the victim?

...

What does Tommy Ben look like?

Like this!




Right. But what does he look like?

LIKE THIS!!!




I know, I know, but what does he look like?

Uh, okay. He has a diaper here, a shirt here, oh! I think he pooped. Let's change his diaper.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Bathroom is Closed

In the midst of potty training...



What happened to the bathroom?

It's closed!

Why is it closed?

I don't want cars go in there and get a flat tire.

You don't want cars to get a flat tire in the bathroom?

I had to close it. Sorry!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

FRiGG - Five Poems


I have five--count 'em--five new poems appearing in the new issue of FRiGG. Hooray!

Aside from the content, I've always loved the artwork the magazine uses to accompany its fiction and poetry. Here's the one they designed for mine:


Oh, and about the poems...

The Graduate as an Art House Action Flick

Written in 2006 while working at the art counter of NAU's bookstore. I had recently watched The Graduate with my soon-to-be wife and tried to re-imagine it as something a little bit different. The title explains the poem.

An Arbitrary Number of People at a Party

Written in December of 2004, an attempt to describe how I felt at large gatherings.

Paulie Gets His in Scene 27 of The Godfather


The Godfather is one of my favorite films, one of the few that I can watch over and over again. I'm especially struck by this scene, and all of its juxtaposed elements. The Statue of Liberty, almost invisible in the background. The brief silhouette of the gun. Remembering the cannoli.

Written in 2005 for Jim Simmerman's Forms of Poetry graduate class. I have to thank Logan Philips for suggesting to shorten the title (I originally had a few extra words after "his").

Don't Look

A more recent work, written after the birth of my son. A more positive tone, looking forward to the time I can look back and be proud.

And Suddenly Baby

Fathers will get this one.

Check out the magazine. Direct link to my poems here.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Things to Do With A Toddler in Summer: Wildlife World Zoo

We've been taking Scott to the Wildlife World Zoo since his grandparents gave us a year pass last Christmas. This is probably the place we take him most often, and with good reason.

It's awesome.

Pros:

1. It's close to our house. Unlike the Phoenix Zoo, the WWZ is on our side of town, so we can get to it in 15-20 minutes with almost no traffic. Compare that to the Phoenix Zoo, which is a good hour away (on a good day).

2. The exhibits are close together. Unlike most zoos I've visited, the WWZ is relatively small in total area. However, it still has all the animals you'd expect from a "full-sized" zoo. Monkeys, elephants, giraffes, and lions all make their home here. The upshot is that you can cover a lot more while walking less. This is great when you have a toddler in tow.


3. They have an three different aquarium buildings. They're air conditioned. This is especially useful in summer, when it's too hot to walk outside. Scott especially loves the penguin area, where they have small steps that he can climb. The animals here are also varied: stingrays, poison dart frogs, and even a white alligator.

The aquarium is also right next to the entrance, so we can zip in without being in the heat too long. Which brings us to...

Cons

1. The heat. Like any zoo, the majority of the animals are outside, which is unbearable during the summer. Again, this is where having a great aquarium comes in handy.

2. On our first few visits, our son loved the octopus. And now we can't find him.

Where did the octopus go?

3. It's expensive. One adult ticket will cost you $27.50 before tax. Membership is $100 per adult.

Conclusion: We're really glad that we have the membership. If you have young children, you know that they get tired very quickly, and I don't know if we could justify paying $60+ for only half an hour of zoo time. However, since it's so close, we zip down there often enough that I would buy a membership if it wasn't gifted to us. Great place to cool off for an hour and chill with the animals.

Thanks again, Nana and Eh! (A.K.A., Grandma and Grandpa)